because i had had enough.

major sadness dwelling in my presence everywhere I go. I will not mention who encounter what, or what had happened in these past months.

but I do have a limit.

am I the only one who is trying to cheer everybody up now?

I want everybody to be happy too. Issit that hard of a task?

I pray for a happy day, everyday.

Oh God, bless the one I love,
Take good care of their hearts however much pain they are going through,
Be with them, Carry the weights with them,
Cause God I am not in the position to judge or know their pain,
I just know that they are upset,
And this in return, affects me too, somehow,

Yes, try to be happy, like the person I know you are.

CRY. you don't have to hide it, or pretend you are all right.

everybody has problems. NOBODY is perfect.

suicidal is not an option. so just stop complaining about your life when there are others who are in a much worse situation compared to yourself.

Thank God for his grace, even though this might not be a perfect excuse of a good thing.

You will never know that this might be a blessing in disguise.

JOY. keep it. protect it. make sure you have it. HAVE it in your heart.

Then, it will radiate happiness. :)

I have problems of my own too, some problems that can't be solved nor healed.

but I choose to be happy. :) IT IS A CHOICE. IT IS YOUR CHOICE. :)

FAITH WILL HEAL YOU . IF you just believe. <3

bad week.

there's no need to cry. hush hush. cause you've got me already. :)

my eye is swollen and i can't make it for planting trees project tomorrow. :)

yes i can be excused. (Y)

jump for joy. <3

19( feb 2012)

i just turned 19 last week.

NINE TEEN.

and it wouldn't be an equally celebrated day without them :)

I wasn't expecting anything big. but they did it. and with that, I personally can conclude that I really love each one of them. :)

on the eve of my birthday,

that is my one tough cookie, she is the planner. and all shout outs goes to her. love u hun bun. :) i really do. 

waited in college for the others to assemble. and poof we went to Sonia's place to bombard her privacy. ;)

while being in sonia's house backyard. yes, chewing on muruku while attempted to take good pictures certainly doesn't do the trick. :P

yes, we partied hard that night. It was a major surprise, somehow Tania tricked me into saying that we were all gonna stay in sonia's house for dinner. Hence, I wasnt really suit up. nyeh. :)

\

there they are. all of them. :) really, u guys made me happy that night. and it was the night that i became a little tipsy. :) not to forget, revisha actually blind folded me all the way up stairs to our table. creepy experience but all in all a great one. :) thank u guys for showering me with that much love. <3

one the real day itself, my baby dropped by again. :) as usual, he popped by in the wee hours of the morning. that is really rather sweet of him. YES, MY DEAR. U ARE ZEEE BEST THING IN MY LIFEEE. :)

\

we went to top hat for an early lunch and rush home.

baby bought me avril lavigne's concert's tickets as a birhtday surprise gift for me. wasn't expecting it. :')

it really rocked my night though it drizzled a little it made the weather a little cooler to enjoy the music.

it was a crowded night, the music was good. :)

all in all, it is a good way to kick start being nineteen, that is just ONE more year before i turn 20.

ONE MORE YEAR BEFORE TWENTY.

let's make this a wonderful year, and i hope i keep my promises to myself.

:)

till den,

vonne. :)

Resolutions.

Resolutions, always easier said then done.
But to this very year, though January is already fleeing behind time,and I am a teeny bit late....here it is! The top 20 resolutions I will try to achieve:

1. Get into uni, I.M.U, be nice to me. (: with that I got to constantly revise and stop the addiction of face booking. :3

2. Be healthy and stay off icy cold food. (:

3. Read the bible if I have the time.

4. Sleep early.

5. Be more attentive in class.

6. Maybe own a new designer bag? (;

7. Learn to drive and get the license!

8. Learn yoga and belly dancing to keep my hour glass shape!

9. Be a good daughter and don't over spend own clothes alone. (:

10. Love Benjamin baby with all my heart. <3

11. Pray everyday regardless how tired, emotional, I am.

12. Go for a family vacation together with the brother and sister.

13. Improve my Mathis score. :3

14. Be desicive about a choice of twinning with the uni of otago, or locally?

15. Avoid too much meat in diet.

16. Stay off using foul language. (:

17. Walk my dog at least once a week.

18. Read to gain more knowledge.

19. Spend lesser time on fashion websites.

20. Be contented of what I already have. (:

when thing arent good enough for you.

i tried to be perfect but nothing was worth it?
you ramble too much.
period.
i will call it a day.
i find it pathetic for you to act in such a way. :(

that day

a little of me wish that I could turn back time to that day.
That day when I saw a young guy in the therapy home, that day when I saw him walking each step with so much effort, each step to him, consume as much energy as a normal person would have to carry a block of wood.
He was just my age, I assumed.
His condition was by far worse than mine.
And here I am complaining of my little problems out of the norm for what I have to face everyday.
my mother asked, ' are you having arthritis too?'
he said no, he was having a spinal tumor. A part of me tore to pieces, i wanted to tell him something, but i figured that I don't know this person and talking to a stranger was just way too out of my league. I figured that I will just let this pass, if he's still here the next time i went for my therapy, then i will consider talking to him, assuring him that everything will be all right, although i barely know him.

that was how selfish I was.

and he took that walk to the bathroom that day.
using what look like a supporting tool to bare his whole weight.
you could tell from his movement that he is in pain.
it is spinal tumor, so i expected it to hurt a lot, since it involves nerves and all complicated and twisted system in control of our body. each step lasted long, and there I was just ignoring the whole scenario when I can actually give him a word of comfort just to stay strong.

what went through my mind at that instance was, 'what if he dislike strangers like me to talk to him?' and what if 'it is a too sensitive issue to mention?' or 'what if it hurts him if I were to ask him?' all these questions went drifting in my head. So, there I sat watching him, with each step walking to the loo. I could tell you at that moment, I felt his pain, weird but true.

Soon, we left that place. My aim was gone. I did not even mention a word to him.

I sat in the car, thinking to myself, what a heartless person I am.

At times like this, all I can do is pray, to pray that he will be all right.
And so, i whispered a silent prayer to keep that guy strong and healthy as I sat quietly in the car on my way home.

and all I know if, if I was that guy, I will eventually need support from a friend.

Recently, i went to the therapy home again,
and he was not there anymore.

I want to wish him well.

The next time I meet someone in need, I promise not to repeat this same mistake again.
I will seize the opportunity to say something supportive.

everybody have to go through tough times which teach them to be stronger.

Hard times varies for each individuals.

Well, having somebody to talk to will just make the problem better.

so speak your heart out if you have the chance.

:)

and yes, we are struggling with Malaysian studies.
If it not for it, I can be running in and out of my dreams all day long. YAWN.
but with my girls, though the lectures are a tad bit dull, they seem to make things better. <3
and I am a lucky girl to have them by my side. ( the nia nia-s, revisha, mr.1.30pm,and the group leader)
I am suppose to write an essay now, but who knows, they haven't sorted out the work yet.
So here I am, writing a blog post for all of you. <3 hehs.

this is for one of the nia.
i know you will love it, others Don't jelly, I just happened to find this while surfing the net. :)
and I know she'll love it.
here you go, though I don't know how and where to get this for you,
I think a picture of it will do. :)

She love cats and shorts. This seems to be the perfect gift for her.

I would give you this if I can find one. :)

And for my baby, Don't you ever doubt that I am not thinking of you.

Cause you seem to be the only one ruling my mind. <3

I miss you. 

And we need more pictures together. :D

many more to fill up many albums to let our many children to see in the near future. hehs.

I will sum it up here today.

till then,

vonne.

mind blown

time really do flies, just had a flashback of what i had been through this whole time. finals are over babes! :) and a whole new routine of life had yet to begin. :) went to the movies with my pals and had the whole mood rolling out. :) it's nice to feel freedom within our reach once again. :) marvelous feeling. :) some point at this time last year, i ponder on college, i stressed up over SPM till I am not naturally myself anymore. you realize what stress can do to you, don't you? and i wonder how college will be like.

while after the finals and the first semester has came to an end, it certainly did widen up my perspective a fair bit. though it will be tad bit emotional, i meet people that i grew to love each day. day by day. each with their unique behavior. :) i couldn't thank God enough for giving me the wisdom to choose the right campus to go to with all sort of nice people surrounding me. <3

in a nutshell,

first semester of MUFY is awesome. :)

CHEERS TO THE FRIGGIN' WEEKEND.

here's a shoutout to my darling who is having SPM next week. :) love u bennie dear. you'll do well. :)