many things had come and go, yet you are the one that still hang on, i love you for that. :)
went to college yesterday, had a terrible massive cold attack, who knows from what. screw you dust or stupid viruses and bacteria, go screw someone else. GAH. STOPPPPIIIIDD. =) much better. ;) i thought i had a freaking fever. never in my life i looked as horrible as yesterday, hairs all over the place, hand stuck to the nose for every single millisecond. nose dripping like a miserable pipe. YES. i know. whining too much. good god, i rested a whole two hours and felt much better after that. :) and of course i freaked out totally as the day after, i had BIO & MATHS & ENGLISH TEST TO DO. so paranoid, cant even concentrate after the whole 'i-think-i-am-going-to-be-sick-for-the-entire-day-and-not-wake-up-in-the-morning' syndrome. ;) so yesh, i didnt know what to do besides heading to bed again. (= usual me. so smart and relax. :)
the worst thing was, stupid arthritis came back to hit my wrist just as the night begin to come. yes, i had a whole bunch of papers to do. YESH, IT WAS MY RIGHT DAMN WRIST. why o why. sometimes i ask why did i get it, stupid shit, can it even come in a better timing? then, i prayed. (= by grace, i got over today. ;) i finished everything with a handicapped wrist of mine, and how on earth am i gonna perform on thursday with this wrist of mine? I HAVE NO SINGLE CLUE. but one thing is for sure. i am not a quiter. I didnt want to join any talent quest at first, but for the sake of experience is a fun journey, is not the winnings or fame that i am after, is the joy that i am after. i know i cant dance like a professional dancer, yes, some of my moves sucks big time, but least i try. i choreograph. i am satisfied. i no longer want to be that person who cries as she regrets to do something. winning isnt my thing, of course it is a blessing to win, but it is also consider a blessing by getting through the auditions. <3 i praise GOD. DANCE is far been my life. my hope. IF IF AND IF. it werent for arthritis i wouldnt have to even quit dance classes. but i know i can manage this through faith. I KNOW my GOD will always satisfy me. ;D
2 good and bubbly friends of mine hadnt been going easy with their relationships processes. i know i can do nothing better but to help and listen, as the saying goes nothing is always easy, even to find the right one, it takes ages and ages, and even if you found THE ONE, it is still a long process to get to know one another, to know one another's flaws, to face each other. but it will all fall right back into pieces when he is there. your heart will pound like crazy cause mine does that when my love is with me, even though he doesnt call, you still know he is there. even though he mad you furious with fury, your inner heart still longs for him. YES. is not a miracle, but a chosen one is out there for all of us. just that maybe, you shouldnt rush into anything? let it come directly and smoothly. ;) LOVES. the future is not in our hands, and all we have left to do is nothing but to seek God. =) with grace, hopefully, mine will stay forever too. ;')
college is fun. much fun. sometimes way over fun that i got carried away, sometimes you will feel like you're stuck in a whole other dimensions with people having fun all time around. BUT SERIOUS SHIT, trials is on the way. and FINALS TOO. CHICKEN SHIT. whatever. i am gonna be a super nerd after the dancing thing. ;) and hope that i wont break my wrist in the process. darling ben will try to make it, to support me, if possible, so we shall see whether he made it. ;D
i will have friends and buddies who loves me (i believe) so winning doesnt mean a shit to me. ;)
NOT forgetting the highlight of the day was pure embarrassing. not mentioning it in my blog, but what a crazy experience it is, well, just say the guy was in a green tee and he was THE awesome looking one, scratch that, my ben looks ten times better then that. HAH.
i love you all. LALALALALA. ;)
AND OF COURSE TO MY PUMPKIN,
YOU WILL ALWAYS linger in my heart. <3
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